Stars Wars: Girlbossing on Tattooine

so i am not what you might call a star wars fan. personally, Shakespeare in space was never my cup of tea. however, the hands of fate have forced me into a situation wherein my seeing flesh orbs were forced to gaze upon its majesty.

now this movie was a fuckin trip, for several reasons, but i really just wanna talk about the shitty little rat tail obi wan kenobi thought was acceptable to wear.

he looks like a sad lemur abducted by a hairdresser who's only knowledge of hair comes straight from a backstreet boys magazine printed in 1999.

and it gets worse because the entire movie he just sits there and exists with this shitty rattail.

and this isn't even branching on the topic of the absolute coolguy anakin is.

obi wan is like,,,, a whole ass adult and he gets showed up by a 6-year-old in a bowl cut. Dude manages to woo padme by just existing, and then somehow manages to become the most useful character??? like,, qui gon jinn just takes one look at this sentient mop and goes "yeah sure, he's probably more useful than my JEDI KNIGHT PSEUDO SON." like this dude obviously just rolled a nat fuckin 20 on charisma and decided to roll with it.

yeah, whats up, the name's anakin skywalker and I'm about to steal your girl, your dad, and the podrace. 

he's like space pete davidson, but instead of managing to date multiple legendary sex symbol supermodels, he's just really good at podracing.

(it appears i forgot to give poor anakin a Neck during my glorious photoshopping. oops)