Casablanca Broke me

 ok im like,,, 30 minutes into the film casablanca and somehow they’ve managed to make 30 minutes of movie where absolutely fuckall happens

like how the fuck does one even manage that

like i’m just watching humphrey bogart be the worlds most insufferable wet blanket as he wanders around his bar refusing drinks from everyone and causing general problems

women want him, alcohol fears him snd the piano man is currently the only character in this goddamn hell film i’m invested in

man really said “its my party and i’ll be an insufferable old man if i want to”

i am in purgatory and humphrey bogart is my jailer

he has trapped me in casablanca prison for my crimes

i dont think this film actually has an ending

it just keep happening for eternity until you’re either allowed to escape, or you get so fed up you resort to abandoning all human connections in persuit of growing a beard and moving to alaska to live a life of solitude.

why does humphrey bogart always look vaguely constipated.

its like somebody photoshopped nicholas cage’s face onto a block of wood, and that block of wood decided to don a trilby hat and wander onto a movie set

he’s literally a walking rectangle.